221. “I’m almost 40 and still living paycheck to paycheck” | Ramit Sethi Podcast
Romy (38) and Travis (37) are a married couple living in Cape Town—but despite earning over $130,000 a year, they’re constantly running on empty. Romy feels the crushing weight of managing everything alone, while Travis avoids financial planning and insists things will “just work out.” Together, they’ve repeated the exact same dynamic Romy grew up with—right down to the hidden savings and anxious sleepless nights. Can they stop playing financial whack-a-mole and finally build a system that supports their future dreams, or will history keep repeating itself?
In this episode we uncover:
• Why Travis believes he can always “go fishing” to make money—and how that mindset creates instability.
• How growing up with financial chaos shaped both of their attitudes toward money and planning.
• The emotional weight Romy carries by being the only one thinking about the future.
• Romy’s secret UK savings account—why she kept it hidden, and what happened to the money.
• Their chaotic approach to buying property—and why they can’t clearly say if it’s for living or investing.
• How disorganized thinking shows up in everything from taxes to tipping the valet.
• The truth about their emergency fund (or lack thereof)—and the very real risks they face.
• Why Travis’s role as the “reassurer” actually prevents change—and how Romy feels trapped by it.
• How Ramit challenges Travis to redefine generosity without spending money.
• The first steps they take toward rebuilding trust and creating a shared financial system.
I’m casting couples right now for a new season of this podcast. If you’ve been wanting to get my advice on your situation, this is the last chance to talk to me in 2025. Apply now at iwt.com/apply
Chapters:
(00:00:00) “I tapped my card and it said insufficient funds”
(00:09:23) “I’m living the same financial life as my parents”
(00:18:13) Ramit breaks down their numbers
(00:38:14) The weight of taking on the “man’s” role
(00:52:48) “I’ve been poor before—I’ll be poor again”
(01:02:08) Living on hope, not numbers
(01:12:05) “We’re doing this together” — building a new financial identity
(01:28:56) Where are they now? Romy and Travis’s follow-ups
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Links mentioned in this episode
• Get tickets for my next live events—September 14 in Atlanta and September 26 in Los Angeles—at iwt.com/events
Connect with Ramit
• Get my new book, Money For Couples
• Get Money Coaching with Ramit
• Download the Conscious Spending Plan
• Listen to my book—now on Audible
• Get my New York Times best-selling book
• Get my no-numbers journal
• Other episodes
• YouTube
If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.